The award for most exciting Thanksgiving news dump of the year goes to Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).

It sounds like a great brine recipe!

Despite Boehner's professed years of tinkering with it, we think the formula could be improved. For one thing, it's not Ohio enough. Maple syrup is unquestionably a nectar, if not the nectar, of the gods and Founding Fathers. The fate of the sugary tree juice is not tied to Ohio, however, but further to the East. In Vermont, they probably don't even bother diluting their maple turkey brine in water.

If Boehner wanted to put a big home state spin on his brine recipe this year, we recommend consulting The New York Times's unscientific but awesome list of the most unusually popular holiday recipes in each state, according to Google searches.

According to this list, he should brine his turkey in dirt pudding — the Oreo-topped pudding home for gummy worms that lives on only because of its terrifying popularity with third graders. If he wanted to put a Republican-spin on it, he could spice up the brine with Oreo truffles from the Ron Paul cookbook. The Ron Paul cookbook also has a few casserole recipes, which also have been searched many a time in Boehner's home state. Brining is a lot of work; maybe he should skip that and just cook his turkey in the middle of a cheesy potato casserole?

Actually, this all sounds awful. We endorse Boehner's brine recipe, which he has painstakingly crafted over the years, even getting it through the notoriously impossible Household Thanksgiving Committee. We would also be fine if Boehner guest-starred on "Barefoot Contessa" for an episode or two, if you want to pass this along to someone who could make this happen. They could talk about her time at the Office of Management and Budget, but more importantly, maple syrup.