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John Boehner’s office is using Taylor Swift as click-bait. We think they can do better.

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Today, an article appeared on House Speaker John Boehner's Web site. It was titled "12 Taylor Swift GIFs for you," and was conceived as a sneaky way to click on an article that was actually about House Republicans' dislike of President Obama's recently announced plan to offer free community college.

This is not the first time that Boehner has tried to harness the power of the Internet(s). He once released a video about a monkey doll in his office, and he is a religious practitioner of #tbt.

We had to look up who this "Taylor Swift" person was on the Google, and aren't quite sure why Boehner's office thought that people would click on such a headline. But we have some other ideas for how they could have attracted more clicks for a post that probably no one is reading right now.

In italics are the words from the original post.

12 stacks of exciting and meaningful legislation for you

"Last week, President Obama announced his latest idea to provide "free" community college to millions of Americans. It sounded exciting at first…"

12 pictures of college students sleeping for you

"But then, we got to thinking…"

12 T.S. Eliot quotes for you

"Free?! Is he using magic money? Nothing is free. So we did a little math."

Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water.

12 of our favorite Billy Joel songs for you

"Turns out…when President Obama said "free" what he meant was "60 Billion dollars over 10 years."  Not even all the [Billy Joel] album sales in the world would cover that bill."

Oh wait. Boehner's office actually already did this. 

12 times that legislators talked about things that the #teens like for you

"Still, 60 billion dollars is a lot of money ... you can't just shake it off."

12 blank spaces for you

"And the president knows full well there’s no blank space in the taxpayers' checkbook."

12 hashtags for you

"Or does it mean he wants to pile up more debt on the very young people this idea is supposed to help?"


12 videos of Ronald Reagan talking about taxes for you

"Does that mean he intends try to pay for his 'free' plan with a tax increase on millions of Americans?"

12 videos about how to assemble IKEA furniture for you

"Even then: college STILL wouldn’t be free – there are all kinds of other fees and costs – not unlike all the higher costs we’re seeing in this tough economy."

12 'We Are the World' GIFs for you

"Wait, wouldn’t it be better if we just worked together to lower costs for folks across the board and improve our children’s education?"

12 pictures of sad presidents for you

"Looks like an apology is in order, Mr. President…"

12 videos of fireplaces for you

"We're not mad. She’s just disappointed."

12 John Boehner Vines for you

"BONUS [VINE]: Thank you for reading."