Conan O'Brien is a nice guy. He doesn't want anyone to feel bad about themselves -- especially anyone who's putting his or her neck out there by running for president of the United States. It's a tough job!
So the late-night host has taken it upon himself to help out one particularly downtrodden presidential candidate: Mr. Lincoln D. Chafee of Rhode Island.
The former Rhode Island senator and governor (and former Republican) is running for the Democratic nomination in 2017. He's currently polling at 0 percent.
This makes O'Brien sad.
"I'm not saying we should get him elected," O'Brien explained on his show Wednesday. "I'm personally not going to vote for him. But I think we should get him on the board so he's not humiliated. It seems like the nice thing to do."
And so O'Brien launched his mission for 2016 to get Lincoln Chafee, whose most newsworthy event this campaign came when he endorsed the metric system during his campaign announcement, to 1 percent in the polls.
O'Brien gave out hats and dispensed some Chafee facts. He even commissioned a song by Aimee Mann and Ted Leo. He explained why horses and African-American lesbian stoners who are CEOs of companies that manufacture measuring cups should vote for Chafee.
And, well, just watch the clip. It's funny, we promise.