Between December 12, 2012 -- when Floridian Josue Larose filed to run as a Republican -- through last Thursday, a ridiculous 586 different people had filled out the Federal Election Commission's Form 2 indicating that they, too, wanted to be elected president in 2016. That includes Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush and all of the big names. And, as all of America knows by now, it also includes "Deez Nuts."
"Deez Nuts" is not a real person. It is the filing name of a kid from Iowa, who decided to run for president as a lark in late July. When Public Policy Polling decided to include his name in a potential three-way race for the presidency, Nuts garnered 9 percent of the vote. And the Internet, yet to discover the joys of the butter Donald Trump, went bananas. Late last week, more people were Googling Nuts than Trump, Clinton or Bush.
But Nuts also inspired a lot of copycats. In the week since that PPP poll, another 242 people have filed -- most of them not affiliated with one of the major parties, and most of them fake.
The Center for Public Integrity, which rightly points out that this is a giant waste of government resources, tallied the various fake entrants: the ghost of Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Fidel Castro, Captain Crunch, and three different Joe Bidens.
Not that there weren't fake entrants prior to Mr. Nuts. Is "Sydneys Voluptuous Buttocks" a real candidate? She/it/they filed in March. "President Emperor Caesar" files regularly for various seats. And who or what is "Jim Gilmore"? (a throat clears) (quiet whispering in my ear) Oh.
As the Center for Public Integrity notes, those filling out fake candidate registrations could be subject to fines. So look out, "Joseph Robinettee Biden," because the government is about to send a bill to your home address at ... 1738 Trap Queen Ave., Washington.
This thing will be a money maker before you know it.