The quote, for posterity:
The third question — most popular question from Google is, "Is Rand Paul still running president?" I don't know, I wouldn't be doing this dumbass livestreaming if I weren't. Yes, I still am running for president. Get over it.
So, here's a weird thought: Don't do the livestreaming.
Campaigns, particularly campaigns that are doing badly, are often an awkward, cumbersome series of embarrassments that candidates are expected to endure with smiles on their faces. It's okay if the mask slips on occasion; people are human.
But if you say, "Hey, I am going to play Monopoly for 72 hours" and then it turns out that you have reached an unprecedented level of boredom eight hours into it, you do not get to say, "I am suffering through this on your behalf." You brought this on yourself. If you are doing something dumb and broken for hours on end because you think it helps your campaign, any previous offers of sympathy become null and void.
It's actually pretty remarkable that this moment exists. The Daily Beast's Olivia Nuzzi was watching the livestream, and most of her updates went something like this:
And so on. This was one of the minority of moments that actually made it to broadcast, probably to Paul's chagrin.
In January, we figured that no one would be able to out-gimmick Paul's Snapchat interview with CNN. As it turns out, someone could: Paul.
Too bad he hated it.