The conservative news web site the Daily Caller did America a great service on Thursday, revealing the nefarious secret that underpins President Obama's choice of housing once he leaves the White House. His "fancy new mansion," the Caller's Eric Owens reports, is "located 1,000 feet from the Islamic Center of Washington."

Not freaked out yet? Well, what if Owens told you that the center "also provides help for families in need, holds wedding ceremonies, organizes language courses, offers counseling and makes available ample significant research material related to Islam." Emphasis added, not that you needed it.

This gave us pause, understandably. Using the standards of proof by which conspiracy theories are validated, this is basically like Obama making a pilgrimage to Mecca on Air Force One.

But then it occurred to us: What might we learn about the secret leanings of the Daily Caller by evaluating the organizations and businesses that it purposely sought out to be within walking distance of its office?

Using Fancy Internet Tools, we drew a 1,000-foot radius around the Caller's offices. And what we found will shock you. The Daily Caller is secretly a union-loving, Democrat-boosting, Hispanic-vote-seeking bunch of environmentalists that read Vox.

I know. I was stunned, too.

Here's the map.

And here's what's within 1,000 feet:

  • The United Nations Information Center, where Caller employees can learn about the New World Order
  • The National Council of La Raza, which advocates for Latino causes
  • The Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute
  • The official mission to El Salvador
  • The Order of Malta
  • D.C. Improv
  • The Soyfoods Association
  • Aljazeera (!!)
  • The operating engineers, laborers, government employees, roofers, hotel workers and commercial workers unions
  • The Federation of American Scientists
  • The Environmental and Energy Study Institute
  • Mainstream media stalwarts ABC News
  • Capital Segway
  • The Center for Reproductive Rights
  • Victoria's Secret (!!!)
  • The Personal Care Products Council
  • National Parking Association
  • The Sultan Qaboos Cultural Center, which introduces Americans to the culture of Oman
  • Solar panel company Solar Town
  • Left-leaning political consultants SKDKnickerbocker
  • CorePower Yoga (!!!!)

More alarming: For Caller employees willing to walk an additional 100 feet or so, the following alarming influences lie just outside that circle.

  • Radio Free Europe
  • Democratic campaign company NGP VAN
  • People for the American Way, a liberal think tank
  • The Natural Resources Defense Council
  • The American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity, which wants to liberalify our coal
  • The NAACP
  • Archibald's Gentlemen's Club (!!!!!)
  • The NEA, a teachers' union
  • Human Rights Campaign, a civil rights organization for the LGBT community
  • The Wilderness Society
  • The AFL-CIO
  • The liberal explainers at Vox Media (!!!!!!!!!!)

But, guys, it gets worse. Within 1,000 feet of the Daily Caller is no less than the American Islamic Congress, an organization that "provides an alternative Muslim voice for the promotion of civil and human rights through advocacy, engagement and education."

Just imagine if such an agenda were to permeate the Daily Caller.