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America needs Sean Spicer on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Outgoing White House press secretary Sean Spicer (Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images)
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Sean Spicer is reportedly talking to various television networks about becoming an on-air commentator. If he does, we know what we are likely to get: little insight and lots of praise for President Trump.

That's what we got when Corey Lewandowski joined CNN after Trump fired him as campaign manager last summer. Despite the indignity of his dismissal, Lewandowski never really stopped being a Trump mouthpiece.

It's early, and Spicer, a former Republican National Committee spokesman, owes less of his success to Trump than Lewandowski did. But the outgoing White House press secretary already appears to be modeling his post-breakup career after Lewandowski's, showering the president with compliments on his way out the door.

There is hope, however, that we might get something more interesting from Spicer in another capacity — as a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.”

That's right, America, the New York Post and Politico report that ABC wants to bring Spicy Time to prime time.

The entertainment potential is boundless, and Spicer wouldn't have to win — or even come close — to make his stint a success. He'd just have to be better than Rick Perry.

And just imagine if “Dancing With the Stars” could manage to cast Melissa McCarthy, too. What an epic rivalry that would be. What's bigger than “epic”? “Tremendously huge”?

Seriously, though, “Dancing With the Stars” is where celebrities go to bare their souls while cha cha cha-ing their way to emotional breakthroughs. There are more tears than sequins on that show, which is saying something.

If Spicer is going to open up about what happened during his tenure in the Trump White House, it won't be in a TV studio with DWTS alum Tucker Carlson; it will be in a dance studio with Sharna Burgess or another ballroom pro.

For an authentic look at what it's like to be Trump's spokesman, we need Sean Spicer on “Dancing With the Stars.”