DnD: Dungeons & Dragons — in which players assume the roles of adventurers engaged in an epic quest. The game plays out mostly in the players’ imaginations, possibly while they sit around a basement table in the 1980s or try to be retro with their friends. But it also involves an intricate system of dice rolls, spells and Tolkienesque language that can get annoying if overdone. Apologies for that.
PC: The player’s character — typically a warrior, mage or rogue, though in this case they’re Republican politicians and President Trump.
DM: The dungeon master or game master, who designs, narrates and directs the quest. An honored role among the players. See:
#GOPDnD: An ongoing quest in which the newly empowered Republican Party and its leader, Trump, battle tax codes, illegal immigration and — finally — the great forces of Obamacare, occasionally arguing about dice rolls along the way.
Breaking character is strictly forbidden in any Dungeons & Dragons game. (If it weren’t, we’d briefly note that #GOPDnD began trending earlier this month after tweets by podcaster James D’Amato and has since evolved into a viral, extremely elaborate parody of the young Trump administration’s stumbles.)
Now that we are properly provisioned, let us commence our journey. It begins on the electoral cliffs of 2016, where powerful forces stood in the way of Trump’s party of adventurers.
Against all expectation, Trump defeated the wizard Hillary Clinton. He and his followers discovered amazing new abilities as they pressed on.
Trump led his party to the land of Washington, where he battled many monsters.
Some foes were of this country, and some were from distant lands.
A few doubted their leader’s abilities, but Trump always prevailed.
Finally, the adventurers were strong enough to face their strongest enemy yet — Obamacare. They were armed with the spell, repeal and reform.
But the party suffered many losses, and the battle lasted many days. Finally, the climax:
Which was, honestly, sort of a confusing ending. But that can happen after a long quest.
Anyway, there are always new adventures to come.