The meme: “By age 35”
By age 35, you should know exactly why a certain tweet offering money advice was destined to become a meme.
The meme itself is easy to do: Swap out “have twice your salary saved” with something else unrealistic, too real or just plain absurd. It has blown up, particularly on Twitter, over the past several days as older millennials pile up joke after dark joke about their realities. The main thrust of the reaction: A retirement account, let alone one with “twice” your salary, is out of reach for many approaching 35. Or even a salary, for that matter.
However, not every “by age 35 ” tweet comes from a place of pure despair. For instance, this is my personal favorite iteration of the meme:
By age 35 you should have a huge box of cables but you can't throw them out because you're pretty sure you still need a couple of them but you're not sure which ones— Lori G 🌸🌸🌸 (@LoriG) May 19, 2018
How it began
The MarketWatch tweet was hit first with baffled replies. “I think you meant to say, By 35 you should have debt twice your salary,” one Twitter user said. Another reply joked, “I can’t I have a serious avocado toast problem,” a callback to that time a millionaire told millennials that the reason they couldn’t afford a home was their love of avocado toast.
Soon, people who had seen the original tweet started making proclamations of their own.
by the time you're 35 you should have saved at least half your sandwich for lunchtime instead of noming it at 10am.— tick muffin sales plummeting (@poniesandsodies) May 16, 2018
By age 35, millennials should have 40,000 avocado toasts set aside for retirement.— Paul Fairie (@paulisci) May 15, 2018
By age 35 you should have at least one fork in your cutlery drawer that you just don’t like, and actively frown at if you accidentally grab it.— Christopher Downs (@chrisopotamia) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you should run into friends and say "WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON!" twice a week. You will never hang out. You'll just scream this at each other until one of you dies.— Luke Trayser (@trukelayser) May 20, 2018
by age 35 you should have a kitchen cabinet dedicated entirely to plastic bags that contain other, smaller plastic bags— vytas (@peakysblinder) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you should have reached that stage of time confusion where you're convinced the 90s was only 10 years ago.— Jen '100% Dragon Age trash' Williams (@sennydreadful) May 21, 2018
By age 35 you should have like 2 real friends both of whom live in other states and around 700 online friends with whom your relationship is so tenuous that a simple opinion about a comic book movie could end it instantly.— Guns n' Roses: Appetite for Pragmatism (@Bahbuto) May 21, 2018
By age 35 you should have at least two thirds of your hard drive space taken up by recursively nested copies of the hard drives from all your previous computers— Alex Kerfoot (@akerfoot) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you will routinely exercise in t-shirts memorializing life events older than the interns on your team.— Steven Sinofsky (@stevesi) May 21, 2018
Others got historically specific:
By age 35, you should have gained, lost and regained 1 imperial throne, conquered not 1 but 2 other empires with Roman credentials, turned the greatest church in the world into the greatest mosque, beaten Dracula, married 5 times & written a little poem, retirement experts say. pic.twitter.com/dtZMQgTait— Peter Sandham (@HKSandham) May 21, 2018
By age 35 you should have founded a city in the midwest with expansive powers and established a radical new cosmology including salvific rites for the dead— BCC (@ByCommonConsent) May 22, 2018
Why did this happen?
(Takes a deep breath.)
Those of us approaching 35 (hello, I am 33) are the oldest of the millennials. We lived through the recession as we tried to start our adult lives. Many of us are saddled with college debt. And we have been blamed for “killing” everything from Costco to light yogurt.
For millennials of color, it’s generally been even worse.
When older millennials were in our 20s, we were mocked for living with our parents as we survived an economic apocalypse. Now that the oldest millennials are in their 30s, we’re the subject of anxious news articles about how come we’re not buying houses (or at least buying houses without the help of rich parents) or having kids or, in this case, saving the money we don’t have for retirement.
In a follow-up piece, the MarketWatch reporter who wrote the original story dove into some of the reasons millennials reacted so angrily to the headline. Among them:
- Few in their 30s are even close to reaching the “twice their salary” goal, assuming they have a salary.
- According to some 2015 data, there are 12.1 million 30-somethings in the United States with student loan debt. Collectively, that group owed $408 billion.
- Rent and interest rates are rising, but wages are not.
Also, millennials really like to mock the hopelessness of their futures online.
How to use it like you know what you are doing
It’s simple: Read (or live through) the above, dig deep into your reserves of despair and open up Twitter.
Not every good “By age 35” tweet directly mocks the economic realities of 35-year-olds — see the tweet about having a drawer of plastic bags holding other plastic bags. But all of them at the very least touch on the reality of being 35-ish now: closer to death, more boring than we were a decade ago, yet so far away from saving up what MarketWatch recommended.
Have the brands ruined it yet?
Memes, like millennials, are the products of a cycle they can’t control. The cycle profits off them, even as it leads to their destruction. In the case of memes, the end of that cycle comes when the brands begin to tweet.
And yes, they have.
By age 35 you should have mastered your chocolate to milk ratio.— Nesquik (@Nesquik) May 22, 2018
By age 35 you should have forgotten how many pizzas you’ve consumed because the number is too high to count and you have better things to do like preheat the oven and eat another pizza also Twitter should’ve never given us 280 characters that was a mistake.— DiGiorno (@DiGiorno) May 22, 2018
Good night, meme. I’ll miss you.