You haven’t been divorced, you’ve been given the opportunity to change to a better spouse.

You haven’t been expelled, you’ve been given the opportunity to change to a better school.

You haven’t been evicted, you’ve been given the opportunity to change to a better apartment.

You haven’t received a cancellation notice for your pre-Obamacare insurance policy, you’ve been given the opportunity to “change to a better policy.”

That last one is from from a New York Times editorial. Seriously: “The 225,000 Michigan residents who the ad said received ‘cancellation notices’ were actually told that they could change to a better policy.”