Wired magazine has just published a large-scale statistical study of what correlates with numbers of responses to online dating ads (and let me say here that I am deeply grateful to Charles Hallinan for pointing it out to me). Much of the survey relates to the words used in the ad. For example, mentioning yoga or surfing in your ad has a positive influence on the number of contacts that will result. Some of the discoveries are curious: for men, it is much better to refer to a woman using the word “woman,” but a woman’s ad will do better if she refers to herself as a “girl.” And (the point that has turned my life around, made on the infographic here), it turns out that men who use “whom” get 31% more contacts from opposite-sex respondents.
As someone who has long liked “whom,” I salute this development! True, given modern usage, using “who” as the object of a verb or preposition is pretty fully standard in casual contexts, and is probably getting to be standard in more formal contexts as well; I can’t say that using “who” instead of “whom” is in some objective sense “wrong.” Indeed, using “whom” in some contexts — even in ways that follow historical guidelines about the “who”/”whom” distinction — might be seen as (to quote the Oxford Dictionaries blog) “stuffy or pretentious.” (Imagine a song titled, “Whom Do You Love?“) But if the study reported by Wired is right, “whom” is more effective in this particular context, likely because it’s perceived as a marker of education and social status. And these days, geek is chic, and Bo Diddley, not so much.