Haven’t we put our moms through enough already? And yet, the best Thanksgiving prank going around right now is at Mom’s expense: People are texting their mothers asking them how to cook a 25-pound turkey in the microwave, and posting the results. As millennials are taking over Thanksgiving prep for their families for the first time, it’s the perfect storm. It has probably taken years off a few moms’ lives:
It’s not just moms, either. Even a famous male chef has fallen victim to the prank. In some grade-A trolling, José Andrés’s daughter, Carlota, asked her dad how to cook a turkey in the microwave. In an image he posted, he told her in Spanish to “go to a good restaurant” and suggested that she eat tofu instead. “Microwaves are the end of humankind,” said Andrés.
The prank has paralleled another millennial Thanksgiving development: According to Bloomberg News, there’s been a trend toward tinier turkeys this year, as millennials have smaller Friendsgiving gatherings apart from their families. “Bell & Evans is working with a breeder to make tiny turkeys that consumers will eat all year. Owner Scott Sechler said the new breed, which isn’t yet sold publicly, ‘fills out nicely,’ unlike other undersized birds, which can be bony,” wrote Leslie Patton and Lydia Mulvany. And guess what, Mom? They’d definitely fit in the microwave.
The turkey company Butterball, famous for setting up a hotline to answer Americans’ turkey-cooking questions, presumably knows this is a prank, but they’ve answered Twitter’s burning question anyway: Yes, you can cook a turkey in the microwave. The company told NBC’s “Today” show that to microwave a turkey, you must fully thaw it, place it breast side down on a microwave-safe dish and “microwave it for 4 minutes per pound on full power (for example, 36 minutes for a 9-pound turkey) to get the cooking process started.” Then you baste it and “flip the turkey over and cook it at 50 percent power for 8 minutes per pound (72 minutes total). Stop cooking every 18 minutes to check the turkey’s temperature with a meat thermometer and baste it with the natural juices or a browning sauce.” It’s safe to eat once the turkey reaches a temperature of 180 to 185 degrees in the thigh and 170 to 175 degrees in the breast.
It does not tell you how this will taste: presumably, like an old leather shoe.
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