"Needless to say, he was promptly sent home to sleep it off and I’m down an intern for the remainder of the summer (not that I’m crying over it)."
"Given my Quakerish tendencies, I find myself attracted to the idea that standing up at baseball games to offer a round of applause to 'our troops', whatever it is they may be up to, resembles dog-fighting, in a way."
"Call it Bedford’s Stradivarius of pools."
"Don't abuse the letter y. It's not a real vowel. It's only a vowel when all the other vowels have been injured and you need to use the emergency third-string vowel."
"Remember all of them are just guys with forks in a world of soup."