"We are the University of Nike. We embrace it."

"The days of buying pornographic videos with names based on Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors are over."

"And to clarify, sources emphasized that the current employment climate isn’t being described as sluggish because it looks like a slug."

"I don’t fancy suicide. It has a tendency to be fatal."

"And while friends come and go, a bathtub full of money is forever."

"The conceit starts to lag quickly, though it becomes hypnotic after a time, and the overwhelming specificity of all the provincial details that make up life at a given moment (“c. 2009 A.D.,” also according to the subtitle), and especially the use of the past tense, lend the book the icy feel of a post-apocalyptic science-fiction narrative,some kind of record from the future of a world that no longer exists."