--- "Y call Sally abt her promotion when u can just send a :-) ?"

--- "Wow," said Dixie Klamfoth, a customer in Circleville, Ohio, on learning J.P. Morgan is on the verge of receiving a historic fine from the Justice Department.

- "Why should the Senators still be making laws? / The barbarians, when they come, will legislate."

--- "At an afternoon press event, Treasury Secretary Jacob 'Jackie' Lew, clad in a sequined blazer and a tie adorned with a large dollar sign, confirmed that the economy’s performance in Q3 had qualified American markets for the so-called Bonanza Quarter, a special three-month 'cavalcade of cold hard cash' during which U.S. corporations and households would have the opportunity to double their income, double their assets, and 'move up the big board.'"