Look at all this pot candy, that nobody tried to give to kids this year. (AP Photo/Prince George's County, Md. Police Department)

You're more likely to contract Ebola in the U.S. than you are to get marijuana-laced candy in your Halloween basket. Despite literally hundreds of wide-eyed press accounts last week of the "danger" of marijuana-infused Halloween candy, we are three days into November without a single instance of Halloween-related pot poisoning coming to light. None. Zero. Zilch.

On the other hand, two Americans have caught Ebola so far in the U.S.

Denver was Ground Zero in media reports of a marijuana candy epidemic last month after Denver police released a video warning trick-or-treaters of marijuana-infused candy. Yet according to the Associated Press, "Denver Police and the Rocky Mountain Poison and Drug Center on Monday reported no cases of people slipping marijuana to unsuspecting trick-or-treaters."

In short, nobody has tried to poison kids with weed, because poisoning kids with weed would be a dumb and expensive thing to do.

To sum things up: nobody tried to poison kids with weed this year. Here's a handy chart if you're still confused.