I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone sound so soberly presidential as President Donald J. Trump did today at his coronavirus briefing, but then again, I am a goldfish and I have no recollection of anything that happened more than three seconds ago.*

What the president said really showed that he had always taken the crisis seriously — and he certainly has for as long as I can recall, which, again, is not more than three seconds. Time barely exists for me. I live suspended in an eternal present, in which there is no Before and no After, only the Now, and wow — a castle! This is new!

But I must say: In this pastless, futureless, contextless void, I am really proud of the way the White House is dealing with this crisis and has dealt with it from the very beginning of my recollection (two seconds ago). They have always handled this disease with the level of gravity it deserved.

With no memory of anything that has happened before the past three seconds, I think the president is so absolutely right to correct people who think the coronavirus is just a flu. I cannot imagine who would say such a wrong thing. Those who downplay the virus and suggest it will go away without costing hundreds of thousands of lives are a danger, so we are lucky the president continues to bring the sober tone appropriate to the occasion, say I, a goldfish for whom all time is a blur and to whom each new event comes as a surprise, without precedent or consequence.

*For goldfish scientists: I AM TAKING SOME LIBERTIES HERE! I am sorry!

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