Opinions

Look at me

I’m going for a walk. Look at me.

(Patrick Semansky/AP)

But there are some bad people out there. Very bad and very evil people. They don’t want to look at me.

(Alex Brandon/AP)

So I’ll tell the police to clear the way for me.

(Stringer/Reuters)

Tear gas? Don’t look at me!

(Stringer/Reuters)

Get out of the way so other people can look at me.

(Stringer/Reuters)

Who are you looking at? Me!

(Patrick Semansky/AP)

I like walking a few steps ahead of everyone, so you can get a good look at me.

(Patrick Semansky/AP)

Never mind the writing on the wall — just look at me.

(Patrick Semansky/AP)

And this wonderful lineup of tough guys — I have the power to make them all look at me.

(Tom Brenner/Reuters)

Remember I told you about vicious dogs and ominous weapons? Now, they are right next to me.

Shawn Thew/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock
Tom Brenner/Reuters
LEFT: Shawn Thew/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock RIGHT: Tom Brenner/Reuters

Look at me in front of this church building. Which church is this? Who cares? I’m not here for the church. I’m here for me.

(Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images)

My aides can’t wait to hear from me. But I have nothing to say, because this is just a photo stunt. So don’t look at the big microphone. Look at me.

(Tom Brenner/Reuters)

Now I’m holding a Bible. Look at me.

Tom Brenner/Reuters
Patrick Semansky/AP
LEFT: Tom Brenner/Reuters RIGHT: Patrick Semansky/AP

Should I say, “You’re fired"?

(Patrick Semansky/AP)

Oops, wrong show. I’m president now — look at me!

(Tom Brenner/Reuters)

Okay. Stunt done. Heading home.

(Shawn Thew/EPA)

Last chance now. Look at me.

Absurd America examines the idiosyncrasies of life in the United States. Follow on Twitter, Instagram, or join the Facebook group.

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