Ma chère mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you today to a reopened Disney World, here in la belle Florida! And now, we invite you to relax. Close your eyes to the record number of new cases, enjoy your vacation from reality, as our park staff proudly presents … your visit:

Be our guest, be our guest!

Put our testing to the test!

Tie your mask around your face, chérie,

And we provide the rest!

Loop-de-loops! Hairpin swerves!

Thrillingly un-flattened curves!

Did you catch our “Welcome,” kid?

We put the “host” in hostage vid!

You seem stressed there’s no vax —

What you need is to relax!

Come on in and take a seat and breathe the air!

We’ll try this out on you!

I hope we’ve thought this through!

Please be our guest, oui, our guest, be our guest!


Welcome home (to Epcot)!

Where your cares can be forgot!

We just hope it’s not too rampant.

Don’t be sorry — we R-Naught!

There’s the dwarves! Have no doubt:

We have taken Sneezy out.

Come on folks, on you we’re countin’!

Look, we even fixed Splash Mountain!

You’ll be fine! Step inside!

Worst thing here’s the Small World ride.

There is not a catch! There’s nothing you can catch!

Please do not sneeze or cough, it

Won’t increase our profit.

Be our guest!

(Jokes aside, are you immunocompromised?)

Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!


“Life is so unnerving

For a server who’s not serving.”

(At least that’s what we told the park union.)

“Ah, those good old days when you were useful …

Suddenly, those good old days are gone.

Ten weeks you’d been rusting,

Needing so much more than dusting,

Needing exercise, a chance to use your skills!

Most days you just sat around the castle.

Lazy, like a jerk now —”

Anyway, they’re back at work now!


You’re at risk, and you’re scared,

But think of all the lines you’re spared!

Villains are the ones like Scar, who tell us we must “Be Prepared.”

You’ll have fun! You will thrive!

Even if you don’t survive!

To lose one parent’s not so tragic when it’s Disney princess magic.

Get sick? Clap! You’ll get well.

It worked out for Tinker Bell.

It isn’t an unreasonable request.

Enjoy this indoor venue,

Wear a mask, and then you’ll

Be our guest! Oui, our guest!

Be our guest! You’re our guest!


Be our guest! Be our guest!

You don’t need to take a test!

Don’t be sad like Doctor Fauci;

Snow White isn’t friends with Grouchy!

Staying home is absurd.

Get immunity to herd!

Hope our social-distance scheme works

And you won’t decamp to Dreamworks!

Case by case, one by one

‘Til this ride stops being fun

Why should our economy still be depressed?

“Not yet!” the CDC says,

“We will see deceases!”

Be our guest! Be our guest!

Be our guest! Please, be our guest!

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