Wow! Congrats to Ivanka, but even more, congratulations to Goya! Goya had better cancel its entire ad budget for the year; this single photograph of Ivanka has convinced me. I too want a can of these beans! I look forward to planting them in my garden, or placing them on my mantelpiece, or taking them into beige rooms as my accessory of choice, or whatever it turns out their purpose is, which I have less idea of now than before I saw the post!
This is a strong move on her part. Of course, you can see why anyone would want to get out of the Trump administration at this point. The president will not stop talking and making things worse, his two hobbies. His team, running out of useful pastimes during the pandemic that has claimed 134,000 American lives, has decided it might be fun to try to discredit Anthony Fauci. They are also trying to keep the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from knowing how many people are suffering from the virus, in keeping with their guiding philosophy that there is no problem so great that it cannot be solved by knowing less about it. It seems as good a time as any to cut ties, is my point!
Besides, this sends a broader message! This just goes to show that millions of Americans, if they tried, could Find Something New, as Ivanka’s most recent (pre-bean) ad campaign tried to remind them. Of course! That was it. It was that the thought of getting a new job had not occurred to people; that was why they were struggling and filing for unemployment in huge numbers. And if people do not have enough bread, let them eat beans. Goya beans! They might turn out to be cake. Anything might!
In further good news, the president also seems to be taking this guidance to Find Something New to heart. He posted on Instagram, too, on Wednesday afternoon: a photo of himself behind his desk, flanked by Goya beans, coconut milk and chocolate wafers, all unopened, giving them two thumbs up. For this we must have Ivanka to thank.
Until her ad campaign, would it have occurred to the president that he did not need to be trapped in a job to which he was so clearly ill-suited? Now he knows he can follow his passion: awkwardly posing with food products as though he has never seen such things before.
It was only a matter of time before the Trump family cast off the trappings of power and decided to dedicate themselves, full time, to selling beans to the American people. If you saw Donald Trump and someone asked you, “What do you think this man does?” and the two options that person gave you were “He sells bean products, but he isn’t very good at it” and “He is the president of the United States” — would you guess the second thing?
Watch Opinions videos:
Read more from Alexandra Petri: