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Opinion Are you a Brood X cicada, or just someone emerging from pandemic isolation?

You are excited to come out from your comfortable burrow when the weather gets into the low 80s. (Stephen Jaffe/AFP/Getty Images)
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This spring, many entities will be emerging: vaccinated people beginning a slow return to something like normalcy, and literally billions of cicadas. They’re called Brood X and they’ve been underground since 2004, and now it is their time to emerge and sing, then cover the ground with their carcasses.

I know you are wondering: Which group do I belong to? This handy quiz will help.

Check all that apply:

  • You haven’t had any contact with friends or other members of your generation in what feels like 17 years.
  • You have lost all sense of how to interact with others, if indeed you ever possessed it.
  • You are no longer a prisoner to conventional beauty standards, if indeed you ever were.
  • You are not wearing pants and resent the implication that you will ever be asked to wear hard pants again, unsure how the geometry of that would even work.

What is Brood X? When do cicadas come out in 2021? Answering your buggiest questions.

  • A scientist quoted in the New York Times has described you, unprompted, as “really big and awkward.”
  • Your singing has been described as “cacophonous” and “shrill."
  • You have never successfully made sourdough.
  • You would be stressed if asked to send a complicated email.
  • You are truly uncertain what year it is.
  • 2004′s pop icons feel very present to you.
  • A stranger saw you shuffling along the sidewalk making noises to yourself and took their dog to the other side of the street to avoid you.
  • You are excited to come out from your comfortable burrow when the weather gets into the low 80s.
  • You have bulging, red eyes.
  • Your entire dating strategy is that you are going to put yourself out there and make some loud noises and you hope someone who comes along will like it.
  • When you get together with the guys, your volume can reach 105 decibels, louder than a lawn mower!
  • If you somehow got into an office, you’d be upset and confused and would want to get out immediately.
  • You look forward to mating at some point before you die.

Answer key: Your guess is as good as mine! Good luck out there!

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