The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

Opinion Every nightmarish political TV ad I have seen so far

(iStock)

Do Not Vote For This Candidate! She Is Nancy Pelosi’s Clone Made In A Vat.

Vote For Me! I Know How To Kickbox, A Skill I Intend To Make Relevant In Congress.

My Opponent Will Waste Your Hard-Earned Dollars On Educating The Hated Children

Do Not Vote For This Candidate! She Once Approved A Budget.

Vote For Me! I Have A Gun And This Is A Threat.

I Hate To Say This, But My Opponent Genuinely Has No Plans For Anything Other Than Something She Keeps Calling “The Great Elemental Purging Fire”

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Fifteen Seconds Of Screams (Negative)

Fifteen Seconds Of Screams (Positive)

This Candidate Saved My Life Once And I Vowed That When The Time Came I Would Perform A Favor, No Questions Asked. This Ad Is That Favor. Once Complete I Will Owe Him Nothing And My Life Will Be My Own Again.

It Sounds Like I’m Exaggerating How Cartoonishly Awful My Opponent’s Stance Is On Abortion, But I Promise You, I’m Really Not

I’m A Woman In A Sweater Speaking Calmly Into The Camera About The Fact That If Elected This Person Would Have Jailed Me For My Ectopic Pregnancy

Sorry To Return To The “Fire” But My Opponent Won’t Explain Other Than Saying That “Those Who Know, Know” Which I Think Might Be A QAnon Thing But Am Too Scared To Google

This Candidate Loves Donald Trump (Positive)

This Candidate Loves Donald Trump (Negative)

This Candidate Will Stop Socialist Joe Biden From Forcing Medicare Dollars Down Helpless Seniors’ Throats

My Opponent Wants Winter To Come Sometimes! I Don’t, And That’s A Promise.

I Don’t Mean To Worry You, But My Opponent Seems To Know Literally Nothing About Anything And What He Does Know Is Very Inaccurate

I Do Mean To Worry You: My Opponent Is A Socialist Demon Who Was Predicted In The Book Of Revelation

I Am Certainly Not Big Oil And I Love This Candidate

My Opponent Is Lying Again! This Out-of-Context Remark Proves It!

This Candidate Is Personally Blowing Into The Economy To Make Inflation Bigger

My Opponent Would Drive This Nation Off A Cliff! And Not Metaphorically, Either! It Is A Terrifying Scheme That Combines A Misunderstanding Of Physics With A Misunderstanding Of Many Other Things.

This Candidate Wants Abortions For None, Guns For All (Positive)

This Candidate Wants Abortions For None, Guns For All (Negative)

My Opponent Will Install Laminate Flooring For You With No Interest And No Money Down For One Year Oh Wait Never Mind This Was Not A Political Ad

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