In the next few weeks, billions of cicadas will emerge in the eastern United States after 17 years underground. They have a lot to catch up to.
— Why doesn’t my BlackBerry work?
— They’re so passé! Look...
— Now we doom-scroll!
— Whoa! A guy called Barack Hussein Obama was elected president!
— Wow! We evolved!
— OMG! We really did. Look:
— Not so fast, guys! That orange dude from “The Apprentice” was also elected president!
— And he was impeached twice! And then... FIRED!
— Ohhhh myyy goddddd! There’s a P-A-N-D-E-M-I-C?!!
— Look at this! The vice president is a woman! And Black and Asian! And wears tennis shoes!
— Look, aviator sunglasses are still in style!
— And apparently so is Mitch McConnell?!
— How is any of this possible?
— It’s not just him! Check it out!
— A whole bunch of them have been in Washington a very long time! Some since Nixon!
— Okay, show’s over, everyone.
— Time to mate and die!