ONE-TIME USE ONLY illustration for O-BARBIE1210 (Susan Burghart for The Washington Post/Susan Burghart for The Washington Post)

Barbie is the plastic Larry King — she's had more weddings than anybody could hope to keep track of. Mattel is exceedingly talented at mashing up the words "bride" and "Barbie." There's Barbie Bride Doll, Beautiful Bride Barbie Doll, Rose Bride Barbie, Romantic Bride Barbie and Romantic Rose Bride Barbie. But if every girl's favorite doll keeps getting hitched, it must mean she keeps getting un-hitched, too. For every Dream Fantasy Wedding™, there must have followed a Dream Fantasy Divorce™. We all prefer to remember good times over bad, but there are no action figures to commemorate these low moments: Barbie and Ken appear to suffer from classic denial psychopathologies. Perhaps Mattel is helping the couple save face. But for kids who care about Barbie vérité, here is a list of the missing dolls.

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