Latest from Gene Weingarten

Gene Weingarten: Oh, is it your birthday? I don’t care.

I feel utter disdain for people who consider their birthdays sacrosanct, worthy of applause.
  • Apr 8, 2021

Gene Weingarten: Meet Fred, the Tooth Fairy

He’s paunchy, misanthropic and willing to negotiate tooth prices.
  • Mar 25, 2021

Gene Weingarten: The Seussian tale of Morton McTavish McGonigal Thnitt

One wish, two wish, red wish, blue wish ...
  • Mar 22, 2021

Gene Weingarten: For a week I recorded my dreams. Here are my political prophecies.

Behold a real nightmare scenario.
  • Mar 18, 2021

Gene Weingarten: What is Trump’s eternal fate? The Legions of Darkness have some thoughts.

“To which concentric circle of The Abode of the Damned does he rightly belong?” Satan asks.
  • Mar 11, 2021

Gene Weingarten: Karen’s better half? Darren, obviously.

Who cares what Darren’s name is? What matters is who Darren is.
  • Mar 4, 2021

Gene Weingarten: Confessions of a compassionate hit man

The last, best gift we can give our pets is a merciful one.
  • Feb 25, 2021

Gene Weingarten: I admit it. Like a lot of people, I had vaccine envy.

The Germans probably have a word for it. Call it shottennfreude.
  • Feb 18, 2021

Gene Weingarten: I come bearing good news, QAnon. Meet WAnon, the new Mr. Right.

W is even farther to the right than Q on your sacred canvas, the computer keyboard.
  • Feb 11, 2021

Gene Weingarten: Trump left a letter for Biden. Here’s what I think it said.

Only I can truly channel Trump, since only I possess the requisite degree of infantilism.
  • Feb 4, 2021