Michael Cohen, former lawyer to President Trump, leaves his apartment building in New York on Dec. 7. (Richard Drew/AP)

Launching his own Twitter fan account featuring “women” who found him “sexy” is not the worst thing Michael Cohen has done. The worst thing Michael Cohen has done (that we know of!) is committing nine felonies.

But, given the scourge of fake social media accounts and the craven PR efforts that plague this country’s political process, accountability is necessary when an offender is caught. An example must be set, if for no other reason than to serve as a deterrent.

This is why we had to mine @WomenForCohen’s feed for its worst tweets.

For those who have no idea what this is all about, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday morning that Cohen paid a man named John Gauger to rig online polls for Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. Gauger says Cohen never paid him all of the $50,000 he was owed, even though Cohen took a $50,000 reimbursement from Trump. Cohen has confirmed hiring Gauger to rig the polls and said it was at Trump’s behest. The Trump team denies this. It’s not clear whether any campaign finance laws were violated.

But buried within the Journal’s story is this juicy tidbit:

During the presidential race, Mr. Cohen also asked Mr. Gauger to create a Twitter account called @WomenForCohen. The account, created in May 2016 and run by a female friend of Mr. Gauger, described Mr. Cohen as a “sex symbol,” praised his looks and character, and promoted his appearances and statements boosting Mr. Trump’s candidacy.


Mr. Cohen asked Mr. Gauger to create the @WomenForCohen account, still active in 2019, to elevate his profile. The account’s profile says it is run by “Women who love and support Michael Cohen. Strong, pit bull, sex symbol, no nonsense, business oriented and ready to make a difference!”

That doesn’t quite capture the sadness of the @WomenForCohen account. A perusal of its 789 tweets shows it doesn’t just praise Cohen’s looks or media appearances; it lifts him up as a paragon of virtue — a “good guy” in a world full of nefarious characters. That this man was even at that time literally committing felonies is just about perfect.

The account is mostly your garden-variety fan feed featuring tweets calling Cohen a “stud,” “handsome” and “sexy” and comparing him to good-looking famous people.

A few examples:

Yep, Cohen wouldn’t know anything about “lies, deception, and fraud.” If anything has been proved, it is that.

The account also notably tried to assist in turning Cohen’s “SAYS WHO?” gaffe into a rallying cry.

And it assisted in Cohen’s effort to beat back a story about how he had said it wasn’t a crime to rape your wife. The account boldly proclaimed, “Just like @MichaelCohen212 we DO NOT think it is ok to rape anyone."

At one point, it mistakenly retweeted a sarcastic tweet from Hillary Clinton aide Jesse Lehrich, apparently thinking that when Lehrich said, “And this guy defends Trump PROFESSIONALLY!” was meant as praise.

via Twitter (Screenshot/n/a)

And in another retweet, it passes along this from an unofficial account called @TrumpPresOffice expressing envy that Cohen has a group of women so devoted to him.

“Wait a second...@MichaelCohen212 has a women’s group just for him?” the account tweeted. “What do we have to do to get a fan club?”

Apparently just ask someone to create one for you.