The hard-working staff here at Spoiler Alerts was working out myriad frustrations yesterday on an elliptical machine while watching the movie “Machete” on FX. For those poor souls who have never seen it, “Machete” is a deliriously over-the-top film that had its origins in an equally over-the-top spoof trailer in the film “Grindhouse.”

I bring this up because at one point in the film, a character describes to Machete (played by Danny Trejo) what Texas state Sen. John McLaughlin (played by Robert De Niro) plans to do if he is reelected:

As you know, illegal immigrants such as yourself are being forced out of our country at an alarming rate. If he had his druthers, he’d ship you back to old Meh-Hee-Co. That’s his platform: Ship ’em back. But first, he’d make you build a wall along the border for no pay. Not so much as a thank you then get the f— out. [emphasis added]

Now this sounds awfully close to an actual presidential candidate’s fantasy plan to stop illegal immigration.

This got me to wondering: How closely do Donald Trump’s statements about immigration mirror a stock villain from a Robert Rodriguez exploitation flick? A closer glance at Trump’s statements and Rodriguez’s screenplay for “Machete” reveal some awfully similar language.

Take the test yourself to find out! Below are eight quotations: Which ones belong to presidential candidate Donald Trump, and which ones belong to Robert De Niro’s character from “Machete”? And then ask yourself, what does it mean that it is that difficult to parse out the difference?

The answers are at the bottom.

  1. “It cheapens their experience, their hard work, to have people jumping the border, taking advantage of loopholes in our system. It makes a mockery of everything they’ve worked for and turns it into a big steaming pile.”
  2. “My will to fight has only just begun. We must not let the terrorists win this battle for our land, our America! Thank you.”
  3. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us.”
  4. “The Mexican government is much smarter, much sharper, much more cunning. And they send the bad ones over because they don’t want to pay for them. They don’t want to take care of them.”
  5. “Make no mistake, my friends: We are at war. Every time an illegal sneaks across the border by dark of night it is an act of aggression against the United States. And I submit to you, it is an overt act of terrorism. These people are terrorists.”
  6. “The United States has become a dumping ground for Mexico and, in fact, for many other parts of the world.”
  7. “God bless everyone who stood with me today, I will return to the fight. And God bless America.”
  8. “Mexico makes a fortune because of us. A wall is a tiny little peanut compared to that.”

Answers: 1. “Machete”; 2. “Machete”; 3. Trump; 4. Trump; 5. “Machete”; 6. Trump; 7. “Machete”; 8. Trump