Aaron Rodgers took a look at the finale of his favorite TV show and spotted problems like, well, like they were open receivers. And, like many “Game of Thrones” fans, he really didn’t like what he saw Sunday night.
(Turn back now if you have not watched or read about the finale. This post is dark and full of spoilers.)
The Green Bay Packers quarterback, who even had a cameo in the penultimate episode, went off on a rant of the epic variety when asked after Tuesday’s offseason workout whether he was satisfied with how David Benioff and D.B. Weiss wrapped up the series.
“I love the show, and it was a great [eight seasons], but no. You come down to the end, and Tyrion says the person with the best story is Bran? Who, by the way, three episodes ago said he wasn’t Bran Stark anymore,” Rodgers said. “No. Jon had a better story. Dany had a better story. Arya had a better story. Sansa had a better story. Tyrion had a better story. Varys had a better story. Bronn, a lot better story. Jaime, better story. Cersei, probably a better story. Any Baratheon, better story.”
Let’s hear it for Team Gendry!
Suffice it to say Rodgers will not be bending the knee to Bran the Broken, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Six Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. Rodgers would have chosen Daenerys “Dany” Targaryen, who instead of breaking the wheel, went stark-raving (sorry) bonkers and had to be put down by her nephew/boyfriend/guy with one of the best claims to the throne (especially after he killed his aunt/girlfriend), Jon Snow.
Rodgers went on to dissect the plot as if it were a defense.
“Here’s my last theory about it,” Rodgers said. “If Bran, the Three-Eyed Raven, who’s all about the health of the realm — let’s think about what he did. He basically wanted the throne the whole time because he’s the one who told the Starks [about Jon Snow’s secret identity], knowing that Sansa would tell Tyrion, knowing that Tyrion would talk to Varys, knowing that he’d scheme for Dany’s death, knowing that would p--- her off, which led her to be the Mad Queen.
“So he, the entire time, kind of set the whole thing up and then at the end goes, ‘Oh, yeah, I don’t want to be king. Oh, but why did I travel all this way to be here?’ No.”
And this is from a guy who was in the show! Not that anyone could actually, definitively spot him in his brief cameo. At least we could spot Ed Sheeran and Noah Syndergaard.
“Look, I love the opportunity to be in the show, which most people probably don’t think I was, but I was there,” he laughed. “I love the show, but the writers are also doing ‘Star Wars,’ so I think they might have been a little busy this last season.”
Oof. So just where was he in the next-to-last episode as King’s Landing was being incinerated by Dany?
“It wasn’t the guy that got burned up, and I’m disappointed in every person who actually said that was me,” Rodgers said. “Because, if you watch that person run, they’re a total nonathlete. Total nonathlete.”
True. Nor was he the archer, “although that person definitely looked like me,” he admitted.
He revealed his actual identity in a feature on HBO’s website, not that it helped anyone. “I was helping a woman who was injured, set her down and then, ‘The hell with her, I’m getting out of there,’ " Rodgers said.
He revealed no more on Tuesday, hoping perhaps instead to be in a prequel to the story.
“I want a bigger part, though,” he said.
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