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‘Is Jerry Jones on a yacht?’: A look at the NFL’s most notable war rooms.

I'm the captain now. (Getty Images/Getty Images)

Kliff Kingsbury began the first round of the NFL draft Thursday looking like the runaway winner of the “most impressive war room” award, only to get blown out of the water by Jerry Jones.

That was almost literally the case, given that the owner/general manager of the Dallas Cowboys appeared to be drafting from his $250 million megayacht. Sorry, Kliff, your impeccably designed den/patio combo will have to settle for second mate.

With the novel coronavirus pandemic scuttling the NFL’s plan to have teams and top players convene in Las Vegas for the draft, everyone was left to rely on the relative comforts of their own homes (or in the case of the players, their parents’ homes). That gave viewers a chance to see how coaches and general managers were set up, and rate them accordingly.

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Just as the draft was getting going, the Cardinals, who picked eighth, threw down the gauntlet by posting a photo of their head coach’s digs. The 40-year-old Kingsbury made sure that his attire perfectly matched the spare, sophisticated setting.

In terms of scenic splendor, Jones couldn’t compete when his Cowboys got on the clock at pick No. 17. But his backdrop proved very intriguing, leading to a question posed by, among others, Houston Texans star J.J. Watt.

The answer to that would seem to be yes, although a spokesman for the Cowboys did not provide an immediate response to a request for confirmation. A September 2019 feature on the 357-foot watercraft by Yachts International (can’t believe I let my subscription lapse) included an interior shot that left little doubt Jones was on the high seas when he selected CeeDee Lamb.

Not all of us need a little Dramamine with our quarantine, but that’s just how Jerruh rolls. In so doing, he sent a reminder that while the Kingsburys of the world can be justifiably proud of their tasteful furnishings and fabulous views, the truly wealthy make everyone else do the work of figuring out just how good they have it.

As for the look of Jones’s war room, his wife Gene “spent countless hours creating an interior that was sophisticated and inviting,” according to Yachts International.

“Striving for a light, open, contemporary look,” the magazine added, “she sourced bespoke furniture from Silverlining and Based Upon, both in the United Kingdom, and chose details by Swarovski.”

A lot of boats have a Jet Ski, but does yours have Swarovski? Didn’t think so.

Meanwhile, over at one of Dallas’s divisional rivals, first-year New York Giants Coach Joe Judge did not seem to be drafting in quite such an impressive setting.

Then there was Cincinnati Bengals Coach Zac Taylor, whose team had the first pick. He had reason to feel excited about record-setting LSU quarterback Joe Burrow but less so about the ridicule his setup received.

To no one’s surprise, Detroit Lions Coach Matt Patricia had his trusty pencil behind his ear as he worked from home, while some were disappointed that the Carolina Panthers’ Matt Rhule apparently left his smock behind at Baylor. Rhule also got tweaked for the uber-ordinariness of his cabinets.

New Orleans Saints Coach Sean Payton appeared intent on not being caught with a low blood-sugar level, to judge from the cans of soda and movie-theater sweets arrayed at his coffee table work station. Where Payton opted for a very lived-in look, not everything was alive and well at Minnesota Vikings Coach Mike Zimmer’s pad.

Finally, the coach who most got a “W” for his draft lair — in the sense that it was immediately followed by “TF” — was the Tennessee Titans’ Mike Vrabel. What exactly was happening here?

Suffice it to say that at the introductory news conference for the Titans’ first-round pick, Georgia offensive tackle Isaiah Wilson, there need to be many more questions about Vrabel’s war room than about the coach’s newest player.

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