Chatological Humor*

Berke Breathed Cameo!

Gene Weingarten (Richard Thompson - The Washington Post)

*Formerly known as "Funny? You Should Ask."

Gene Weingarten's controversial humor column, Below the Beltway, appears every Sunday in the Washington Post Magazine. He aspires to someday become a National Treasure, but is currently more of a National Gag Novelty Item, like rubber dog poo. He is also reputed to be close to persons thought to be familiar with individuals claiming to be authoritative spokesmen for the mysterious and reclusive Czar of The Style Invitational.

He is online, at any rate, each Tuesday, to take your questions and abuse.

He'll chat about anything.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

________________________________________________

Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon. Another comics chat, I think.

You may or may not be aware of the hoopla surrounding Sunday's Doonesbury. It's not your fault if you are unaware of it -- The Washington Post did its darnedest to make sure you were unaware of it. The Post -- like more than half the papers in the country -- chose not to run the cartoon drawn by Trudeau, substituting a wan old one in its place. Why? Because it was about masturbation. I want to flog this issue a little: It's important. The future of the Republic hangs in the balance.

Here is the link to the cartoon that Trudeau wanted us to run:
Doonesbury, (Sept. 7)
And here is the link to the one we ran:
Doonesbury, (The Post, Sept. 7)

Many of the newspapers that did run the original gave as their explanation that they do not "censor" the comics. This is sanctimonious, nonsensical, and even corrupt. Not running a comic that a newspaper finds offensive or inappropriate simply because a cartoonist drew it is no more "censorship" than refusing to run a stupid or inaccurate story simply because one of your writers wrote it. It's not censorship, it is editing, and good editing is one of the reasons The Washington Post is better than most newspapers. So, the question becomes, was this good editing?

I have asked, but have not yet received, official word on why this strip was pulled. Still, I am pretty sure I can explain it the way The Post sachems would: It was adult material, unsuitable for a children's page. Period.

So, here is the answer, as I see it: This was bad editing. A mistake. And, in fact, a bad mistake.

One, this is not an "adult" issue. Masturbation is, basically, an "adolescent" issue. Adolescents are the world's experts on this subject. Moreover, the comics page is not -- and really never has been -- entirely for kids. People read the comics selectively, precisely the way they read the rest of the newspaper. I can't believe children under 12 regularly frequent Zippy or Dilbert or Boondocks or Doonesbury. Too many references would be lost on them.

But the main argument for running this strip is that it is very good. The pun-chline is superior. And the fact is, newspapers need more, not less, of this sort of humor. Newspapers are in trouble -- too many young adults are not reading us, and one of the reasons, in my opinion, is that young adults seek edge and sedition. There is nothing wrong with edge and sedition, so long as it doesn't cross a line into something ugly and prurient. Trudeau is very, very sure-fingered in this regard; he is no vulgarian. (Please remember a few weeks ago when he flatly discounted my mammarian interpretation of one of his cartoons, saying that was "beneath" him.)

Trudeau is a master at this, as it were. The fact that the issue is being introduced as "good news" by a Catholic priest is rather elegant. And the only weakness of this particular cartoon is that to make the joke, which is really at the expense of the prudes of America, he had to stretch his characters beyond believability. Boopsie would NEVER object to sexual discussion. In a sense, she was representing all the prigs who wound up bouncing this strip from their paper.

Boo, Post.

The cartoon pick of the week is a tandem offering, Friday's and today's Pearls Before Swine. I like the black heart behind them.
Pearls Before Swine, (Sept. 5)
Pearls Before Swine, (Sept. 9)

Questions? Comments?

_______________________

Comix Supplicant: O, Great Comix Guru: Do you happily hail Opus' return? Even if it is Sunday only? And hey, have you ever met Breathed? What's he like -- I imagine him to be somewhat of an eccentric genius and intellectual snob.

Gene Weingarten: Yes, Berkeley and I are old friends. And I am awaiting this with great anticipation. My initial fear was that newspapers would balk at giving him a half page, but apparently they aren't. (The last time anyone tried this coercive demand, it worked. It was the great Bill Watterson, when he returned from sabbatical. I do think Breathed is one of the few in Watterson's league, and I guess some editors are agreeing.)

I am told that the strip will begin appearing in the Post on Nov. 23.

So yes, this is exciting. Berkeley is eccentric, and a genius, but not remotely snobby. The only insufferable things about him are that he is a lot better looking than I am and that he rose from obscurity (University of Texas campus cartoonist, as I recall) to full-fledged stardom immediately, with no interim starvation, and so I always sort of suspected he took success for granted. Damn him.

Then, he nearly died when his light plane ran out of gas and crashed. I think the take-for-granted thing ended pretty much right there.

_______________________

Magnum Opus: Do mine eyes deceive me? Nay, 'tis true
Opus returns, out of the blue
To grace the comics page again
Come November - I can wait 'til then

Our hapless penguin, once affirmed
Retired during Clinton's term
But times have changed, and in the mush,
Bird in hand worth more than
two terms of Bush

Lamenting, sadly, heretofore
Now excited, Breathed-less no more
The Fates have seen to be so kind
Can Watterson be far behind?

Gene Weingarten: Very nice. A lot of people -- dozens -- are hailing this event with posts about it. A particularly interesting one follows.

_______________________

Bloom County, Calif.: Gene,if one were to pass a law that required removing all the comic strips from newspapers that were actually older than Leni Riefenstahl was when she croaked yesterday (God rest her soul. Kidding.) If you took those comics out and then paddled the bare bottoms of the corporate people responsible for keeping these things on life support... would this be constitutional?

Yours

Berkeley Breathed

washingtonpost.com: Hitler's Documentarian Dies, (post.com, Sept. 9)

Gene Weingarten: Yes, I have confirmed this is Berkeley himself. Glad to have you.

Yes, I was actually just talking to your syndicate editor about this very fact. The main reason some wonderful, new, edgy voices are not out there on the comics pages is not that these people do not exist: They can't get their foot in the door, because newspaper editors are candy-asses. They are afraid that if they drop Garfield six little old ladies will end their subscriptions.

They do not give the readers enough credit.

So, penguin-boy -- you gonna be testing boundaries, pushing envelopes? YOU GONNA MAKE THE POST DROP YOUR STRIP FROM TIME TO TIME?

_______________________

St. Doonesbury, Vt.: Does The Post have a philosophy about what age they're writing for? Surely, soime if the things you've written in the Magazine are in a similar league.

Not many of the comics are written for kids (Cathy? For Better or For Worse?) Why should the standard be different just because they're printed in color?

Now, if Slylock Fox spent an hour locked in the bathroom with a Harold Robbins novel, THAT might be a problem.

Gene Weingarten: Yes, true. Excellent point on Slylock!

_______________________

15th and L: Regrading Doonesbury, the most bothersome aspect of this situation was that the Post didn't have the nerve to explain its editing decision. Yesterday Romenesko had about eight links to other papers who at least discussed why they did what they did. It looks like that The Post was cowardly in not only refusing to run Sunday's comic, but also not even fessing up to their wrong-headed decision.

Gene Weingarten: Sigh. Yes.

_______________________

Anyhopefor, ME: Apparently France has some seriously hot chicks! Yowza! But do I have any chance with them?

Gene Weingarten: No. I mean, LOOK at you.

_______________________

Hupazdga, AZ: Given your near-constant complaining at the current mediocrity of the comix page, what role did you play in the Washington Post Writer's Group brilliant move to get Berke Breathed to start "stripping" again?

And, more importantly, regardless of the actual role you may have played, how much credit are you taking?

Gene Weingarten: Well, I didn't want to say it, but I will be actually DRAWING the strip.

_______________________

Fun, N.Y.: Regarding Sunday's story about the French, "C'est what?" was inspired but the story of the Dr. Seuss fashion accessory was pure genius. Could you visit Canada for some more insightful analysis?

Gene Weingarten: You are complimenting the only two words in the story I did not write! "C'est what" was suggested by Post copy editor John Cotter.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Is there better news anywhere this morning than the news that Berke Breathed is going to start drawing another comic?

washingtonpost.com: Back in the Funny Business, (Post, Sept. 9)

Gene Weingarten: (Sorry, this is for people who haven't read the Post today and have no idea what we are talking about.)

_______________________

Arlington, Va. car question: Gene, I need your guidance. In your last chat you said: "I drive a 1991 Mazda 323. All guy." Your statement implies that the gender for which a car is appropriate can change over time, because that was a complete chick car when it was purchased -- underpowered, small, and reliable. Can my 1997 Geo Prizm become a guy car? It is already modestly dented and has paint on the seats. Also has a manual transmission. Let me know if there is anything I can do to speed the process.

washingtonpost.com: One of those Calvin peeing on a Chevy stickers might do the trick.

Gene Weingarten: I concur with Liz. Basically, once a car gets really old or really scuzzy, it becomes a guy car.

_______________________

Hey Berk!;!;: Sorry Gene, since Breathed is here...any chance of Oliver coming back too? Loved that little kid...

Gene Weingarten: Berkeley?

_______________________

Bowie, Md.: OK, Gene, so your kids are, what 18 and 22?

Ten years ago, how would you have felt about having that Doonesbury on the front page, above the fold of The Post comics section?

Gene Weingarten: Absolutely fine. Absolutely. I have no reservations about this.

_______________________

Silver Spring, Md.: My husband sent me this link. There's no reason why I should suffer alone.

Badgers

washingtonpost.com: I fell out of my chair.

Gene Weingarten: This is truly wonderful. It works best if you turn up your computer sound before you click on the link.

MAN, I like this. Gonna lose you guys for a while.

_______________________

New York, N.Y.: So a 1975 Dodge Dart counts as a guy car? Or is just a POS?

Gene Weingarten: Both. The two terms are often coterminous.

_______________________

Doonesbury: Trudeau disagrees with your interpretation-- at least officially: "The more traditional viewpoint (Boopsie's) is represented without mockery, so readers who share her discomfort shouldn't be offended. There's a laugh in there, but not really at her expense."

That quote is taken from: Doonesbury FAQ where he explains his decision to offer a substitute comic.

Gene Weingarten: This is not the first time, then, that Trudeau fails to understand what he was really saying, and I was forced to explain it to him.

Listen: Boopsie would NEVER say what she says in this strip. I don't want to accuse Trudeau of dissimulation, but I think he sort of had to explain it that way.

_______________________

Doonesbu, RI: Regarding your Doonesbury rant.

I am sick and tired of people trying to sanitize the world for children.

First off, such efforts are doomed to failure. Children are not morons. (mostly)

Second, even if such efforts actually found success, these sanitized-children would be useless to us as adults when they discovered that they'd grown up on a different planet.

Gene Weingarten: Yes, thank you. We should not patronize our kids.

_______________________

Honolulu, HI: re: what to call the denizens of your chat.

My linguist friends once taught me that a "false cognate" is a foreign word that looks similar to an english word but has a radically different meaning in the other language. (The classic example is the spanish word "embarazada" which means "pregnant" and not "embarassed".)

In this spirit I offer the portuguese word "chato" (pronounced SHAH-toe), meaning literally "crab louse". Figuratively, a "chato" is something or someone who is a pain in the tokhis. Not sure if this is a false cognate or an aptonym.

Best wishes, and I hope you are recuperating fully from your knee surgery. You rock!;

Gene Weingarten: This is very strange, indeed. And thank you.

_______________________

Chickenchow, ME: You want to "flog" the masturbation issue? Mr. Weingarten, sir, we stand in the presence of greatness. Excepting of course the New York Yankee bit, but I digress....

Gene Weingarten: Thank you. I initially said I was not going to beat around the bush, but decided that was too crude.

_______________________

Expla, IN: I don't get it. The Post won't run an excellent Doonesbury strip dealing with masturbation, but they will prominently showcase the photograph of Madonna and Britney kissing at the MTV awards. Personally, I have no problem with either masturbation or same-sex PDA (public displays of affection), but what I don't get is how the editors can pick one over the other. The target audience of the MTV awards is a YOUNG crowd, probably a good ten years younger than the average Doonesbury reader.

I don't mind editing, I'd just like a little consistency in my life (whimper).

Gene Weingarten: Honestly, I suspect that the judgment here involved a rather silly bit of newspaper philosophy. Papers feel inoculated against charges they were prurient if they print something prurient because it is "news." So many newspapers printed that picture of Nelson Rockefeller giving the finger to a crowd, where they never would have done it had it been some schmo doing it. Similarly, the word penis found its way into most mainstream newspapers only after Lorena Bobbitt made news by excising one.

In the same vein, "the kiss" was news. Doonesbury was more discretionary.

Yeah, it's stupid and a little bit craven, maybe.

_______________________

Somewhere, USA: What about the Badger link is funny? What are they saying?

Gene Weingarten: Okay, I feel safe to say this because I don't know who you are. You are probably a very nice person, but you will never, ever understand why this is funny. So just forget about it.

_______________________

Ellicott City, Md.: Okay, I grew up reading the Post comics and can say until I was about 16 I would never think of reading Doonsbury with all those words and stuff. So, I think the kids would self-edit that comic out.

Gene Weingarten: Right. Zackly.

_______________________

Eastern Market: Rev. Scott Sloan is NOT a Catholic priest. He's a Protestant minister, like William Sloan Coffin.

Gene Weingarten: Okay, I stand corrected. But he is single and, I believe, celibate.

_______________________

Jackie, OH!;: I LOLed at the two comic picks. But it was partially spoiled by the bad grammar. In the first one, the character should have said, "One of those people who HAS . . .", the word "one" being the subject of the sentence. In the second cartoon, shouldn't it be "All of the retirement savings ARE on me"? He uses "are" in the next panel, after all.

Gene Weingarten: I am bad on this issue. Pthep?

_______________________

Warrenton, Va.: My boss says that "Sherman's Lagoon" is Berkeley Breathed under a penname. I say hogwash. Can you settle this?

Gene Weingarten: I can settle it without asking Berkeley. No.

(Though I rather like the strip.)

_______________________

Under, D.C.: On this Doonesbury thing-

Exactly how does GBT's explanation run counter to your statement that Boopsie would never take that position? All he says is that her reaction in the strip is the traditional viewpoint.

I will agree that the laugh IS at her expense, and that he's just spouting the company line in that regard. The question is, would he admit that he's stretching the character to get in the traditional viewpoint?

Gene Weingarten: Actually, this is a good point.

_______________________

Arlington, Va.: Gene,

Last week, while walking down Glebe Road near Wilson Blvd, I saw a large truck that appeared to be some sort of construction vehicle, like a cherry-picker or something. On the side of the truck it said, "PUTZMEISTER." Does this mean what I think it means?

Danke

Gene Weingarten: It certainly does!

_______________________

This Ain't No Dis, CO: The new Monday Morning Sports page does have some promise. Still a long way to go, though. The real gems are the Animal Watch snippets for their earnestness and detail:

Gaithersburg, Canal Bridge Ct., 6000 block, Aug. 19. A person called the Montgomery County Humane Society to report that a raccoon was wandering through a neighborhood with a peanut butter jar stuck on its head. A humane society driver searched the area but could not find the raccoon. The next day, another person from the same area reported that the raccoon was still in the neighborhood, with the jar still attached.

Silver Spring, Warren St., 9400 block, Aug. 20. A woman called the Montgomery County Humane Society to ask for help in removing an iguana from her property. The iguana had found a warm, sunny spot on a windowsill and was in no hurry to leave.

Gene Weingarten: I have said it before. This feature is one of the best things appearing in the Washington Post.

_______________________

Georgetown, Washington, D.C.: I drive a Mini and I fear I may be at risk for prostate cancer.

Gene Weingarten: Well, I think you now know how you have to solve this problem.

_______________________

Pat the Perfect, ME: So can you credit that clever person who came up with "Chatological Humor," the new name for this hour?

Gene Weingarten: Well, I could if I remembered. He won a t-shirt. Liz, do you still have the dude's name?

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Hey Gene, you said in your article that you chose to visit Dieppe "for a reason."

Were you aware that the raid on Dieppe was almost entirely a Canadian and French operation: of the 6108 troops who took part, 50 were Americans. The Americans weren't exactly "picked off ... like wharf rats" (as you so poignantly describe it) either -- just three were killed. 1093 British and Canadian servicemen lost their lives during the raid.

So was the reason you chose to visit Dieppe to demonstrate that, like a great many Americans, you have learnt all your WWII history from B-grade Hollywood war films?

washingtonpost.com: The Problem With the French..., (Post Magazine, Sept. 7)

Gene Weingarten: Well, this is true. I said "Canadians and Americans," without giving relative numbers. The relative numbers were, in fact, not comparable. There is some debate as to the precise number of Americans who were killed or captured (I have seen numbers as high as 20) but there is no questions the Canadians were the main victims. Doesn't change the point much, though, does it?

_______________________

Moro, NS: Our children are not morons? I beg to differ... they're morons the same as us, only smaller.

Gene Weingarten: Well, to quote the great Bill Hicks: "Kids aren't dumb. They're smarter than we are. Have you ever known a kid dumb enough to have a full time job, and kids?"

_______________________

washingtonpost.com: I believe that clever chatster was Richard Josephson from Point of Rocks, Md.

Gene Weingarten: Clapclapclapclap.

_______________________

Pat the Perfect, ME: Nonononono!;!;!;!; It is NOT "one of the people who has"!; The group you're talking about is "people who have -whatever]." He is one of these people-who-have." The singular verb that agrees with "one" is "is."

sorry, but this is my pettest peeve.

Gene Weingarten: That's what I suspected. Pastis is a pretty good wordman.

_______________________

Bowie, Md.: As a crafter of often cynical and ironic language, are yu a Warren Zevon fan? Goes to Berkeley, too...

Gene Weingarten: I am. Dave Barry was a good friend of his. Liz, can you link to Dave's obit that appeared in today's Miami Herald? It's really good.

_______________________

Why Not Fightin' French?: The University of Notre Dame's athletic teams are called the Fightin' Irish. Given the school's name is French, why not the Fightin' French?

Gene Weingarten: Well, probably for the same reason we don't name our battleships the "USS Chicken-of-the-Sea"

_______________________

Alexandria, Va.: I'm sick and tired of people trying to pass off vulgarity as "edgy" and brilliant and so on. It's not about sanitizing the world for our children. It's about cheapening our sensibilities. It's verbal assault. I think the Post made the right decision.

Gene Weingarten: Okay, thanks for writing. I, personally, find nothing whatsoever cheap about this cartoon. Why is it cheap?

_______________________

Darn you!: Now I have that stupid "badger-badger-badger-badger-mushroom-mushroom" song running through my head!

Gene Weingarten: I just love the snake.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: Bring back Binkely!

There are so many new things for his closet.

Gene Weingarten: I am thinking that Berkeley has either left the chat or is being coy. He ain't taking your queries, either way.

_______________________

It's a Snake!; : Badgers is superb.

This is illustrative of why I prefer the Web over institutions, even really good ones such as the Post, for providing full artistic and political freedom. You cannot stifle/edit creativity in the Internet venue. Of course, you cannot guarantee quality either.

Gene Weingarten: Right. That is the tradeoff.

_______________________

Trudeau interview on "censorship": Did you read the Salon interview with Trudeau on this very issue? He makes the same point you do about the difference between censorship and editing, and he points out that he supplied an alternate strip because it's up to editors to judge their own community standards. He also points out that if you're going to do a comic that addresses controversial issues and makes pointed political statements, you can't do it in every strip-- you have to "take your foot off the reader's throat" periodically and do a strip about something innocuous like football. He also points out (you'll like this) that Aaron McGruder of Boondocks hasn't quite learned that lesson yet.

Gene Weingarten: No, I didn't see this. And yes, I am glad he made that point about McGruder.

_______________________

Somewhere, USA: Dave Barry on Zevon's passing.

washingtonpost.com: thank you!

Gene Weingarten: There ya go.

_______________________

Hilla, RI: Having read your oover for quite some time now, it's clear you really do have a thing for Hillary, don't you, Gene?

And what do you think about Laura Bush? She could really benefit from a makeover. (Start with the hubby.) Isn't she a bit too Stepfordish?

Gene Weingarten: That's disgusting. Hillary is an eight-year-old girl.

(meta-comics response)

_______________________

Important Question about Mr. Breathed: How much does he still look like the "undated file photo" the Post ran this morning? Money is riding on this issue.

Gene Weingarten: I don't know. But that picture looks to me to be about 1990, which is roughly the last time I saw him in person.

_______________________

Wine Garden, GE: Which of the democratic candidates is funniest? How about intentionally funniest?

Gene Weingarten: Well, the funniest, unintentionally, is obviously Sharpton. Unmitigated gall is really funny.

I haven't seen any evidence that any of these guys actually has a sense of humor.

_______________________

Charlottesville, Va.: The French have a military tradition that is as noble as ours. If it weren't for that tradition, we'd be conducting this chat in Canadian. As for University of Notre Dame, it was founded by French monks from an order that ministered to industrial workers -- there used to be a Studebaker coach factory in South Bend. Irish people worked there, I'd guess and, besides, the "Fighting Studebakers" really sucked.

Gene Weingarten: It is true. They even had their own Vietnam, in Algeria.

_______________________

Washington, DC: What did you think of this Dilbert on Sept. 8?

It should be pick of the week.

Gene Weingarten: Nah. A pee joke alone is not enough.

_______________________

Washington, D.C.: I think the French had their own Vietnam in Vietnam.

Gene Weingarten: Well, yes, good point.

_______________________

Ad Pick of the Week: The back cover of today's Express has an ad for French Connection United Kingdom, a his and hers fragrance that is abbreviated FCUK. Cutting edge or simply too easy?

Gene Weingarten: Boy, I dunno.

_______________________

Irish, IZ: And, of course, "Fighting Irish" is pretty silly, given that the Irish military tradition is pretty much limited to fighting with other Irishmen, and not terribly successfully at that.

washingtonpost.com: Pretty good at kicking some English butt from time to time..

Gene Weingarten: I would like to note that Liz's last name is Kelly.

_______________________

Unshockable, N.Y.: I think Levey has invaded your chat -- the FCUK stuff is a theme running through his chat at the moment.

Gene Weingarten: LEVEY IS TALKING ABOUT THIS?

_______________________

FCUK is OLD: Sorry, but French Connection has been using this slogan for oh, about 7 or 8 years now. It's not cutting edge, but it's impressively clever and agitating to our American puritanical sensibilities.

washingtonpost.com: Thank you.

Gene Weingarten: Okay, noted.

_______________________

Crystal City, Va.: So Breathed signed with the Wash Post Writer's Group. I didn't know they were that big. I thought the biggies were always with King Features or Universal Press, or am I behind the times?

Gene Weingarten: No, the Washpost group is bigtime.

_______________________

Gene Weingarten: Okay, thank you all. I apologize for occasional time lapses -- my computer has been balky. And for all the unanswered questions: You were arriving in huge numbers today.

Oh, and one last thing: Last week someone asked how Dave Barry knew the feel of sticking one's hand in a sick pig's snout, and I promised I would ask him. His answer: "I was young and needed the money."

Next week, same place, same time.

_______________________