By Monica Hesse and Dan Zak
Washington Post Staff Writers
(Published: Dec. 28; updated Jan. 3)

Fat cats: To your gilded litter boxes! We, the sheeple, all 7 billion of us, are occupying these pages!


We're beyond declarations now. We have demands. A whole list of them, somewhere between the number of federal programs Rick Perry would cut and the total population of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, as plentiful as the overpriced whoopie pies we shovel into our mouths while rummaging through other people's storage units on A&E. Arab spring? American winter? We have treasonal affective disorder. Dictators and madmen fell with the U.S. credit rating, but even Charlie Sheen's self-impeachment couldn't topple "Two and a Half Men," which continues to cripple the soul of the nation in 30-minute increments.

But it gets better! (Ish.) The List makes order out of chaos, democracy out of anarchy, reason out of Terence Malick. And we have a helper this year:

"Siri, please provide some direction."

"Where would you like to go?"


"I don't know where that is."

Fine, we'll get there ourselves.

Apps   Naps
TigersTigers   SlothsSloths
Hoarding   Cleaning
Lululemon gear   Hand-me-down sweat pants
Ryan GoslingRyan Gosling   Michael FassbenderMichael Fassbender
Organic vodka   White whiskey
Boston TerriersBoston terriers   Belgian MalinoisBelgian malinois
Adderall for studying   Nicotine for health
Portland   Pittsburgh
Hyperbole   Pragmatism
TebowingTebowing   God particleHunting the God particle
Pippa Middleton's bumPippa's bum   Kate Middleton's uterusKate's uterus
Lobbyists   Paid historians
Groupon   Coupons
AdeleAdele   Gary Clark Jr. Gary Clark Jr.
Civil War reenactors   Titanic revivalists
Greek yogurt   Icelandic skyr
New Girl"New Girl"   Girls"Girls"
Instagram   Gold-Edition Polaroid
Bryce Dallas HowardBryce Dallas Howard   Jessica ChastainJessica Chastain
Chaz Bono   Stephen Ira Beatty
Supercommittees   The Supreme Court
Google+   Pinterest
"1Q84"   "1222"
Michael PhelpsMichael Phelps   Missy FranklinMissy Franklin
StewardessesStewardess nostalgia   PostmenPostman nostalgia
Mustaches for charity   Clean-shaven for kissies
Corporations as people   Immigrants as people
Donald TrumpTrump   ThielThiel
Klout   Clout
Putin   Putin
Bandage dresses   Wide-leg trousers
Pixie cutsImpulsive pixies   Taylor Swift bangsImpulsive bangs
Adorkability   Densitivity
Alex OvechkinAlex Ovechkin   Lamont PetersonLamont Peterson
WinterfellWinterfell   District 12District 12
Spotify   Bluebrain
Words with Friends   Scrabble (with neighbors)
Ovaltine nostalgia   Tang renaissance
Brown rice syrup   Hot honey
Writing fan fiction   Conlanging
Publicists   Chiefs of staff
Michael Caine   Christopher Plummer
"Don't remake 'Footloose'!"   "Don't remake 'Flashdance'!"
RothRothian ennui   Joan DidionDidionesque despair
Snakeskin   Peacock feathers
Flea-market chic   Scandinavian rustic
BloomingdaleBuying in Bloomingdale   Navy Yard Renting in Navy Yard
New planetNew planets   New dinosaurNew dinosaurs
Trapeze lessons   Flying lessons
ProceduralsProcedurals   Fairy talesFairy tales
Quinoa   Amaranth
Complimentary bread   Complimentary pickles
Natalee Holloway   Natalie Wood
Nicki Minaj   Azealia Banks
Backyard beehives   Backyard tilapia farms
Personal shoppers   Trunk Club
Radical domesticity   Duct Tape
"How I Met Your Mother"   "Happy Endings"
Over-hyped Shake Shack   Over-wrought Meatballs
Reviving "Oklahoma!"   Reviving "The Music Man"
Matthew Barney   Ryan Trecartin
Tweeting privates   Private tweets
Barny FrankBarney Frankophiles   Elizabeth WarrenCrushing on Elizabeth Warren
Non-denial denials   Prebuttals
Debt ceilings   Rock bottoms
Wonks   Tradesmen
Ronald ReaganReagan   Margaret ThatcherThatcher
Drama   Obama


1 p.m.

Live Q&A: Monica Hesse and Dan Zak, co-sovereigns of the List and the Style section Tumblr, will be online Tuesday, Jan. 3 to discuss the Outs and Ins of 2012.

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