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‘National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1’ (R)

By Rita Kempley
Washington Post Staff Writer
February 05, 1993

A buddy cop parody of the lowest possible caliber, "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1" empties its chamber but only nicks its enormously deserving target. It's a fusillade of tired jokes and cheap shots, primarily meant as a burlesque of "Lethal Weapon," but "Basic Instinct," "The Silence of the Lambs" and "48 Hrs." also come in for some lame bashing from director Gene Quintano.

Emilio Estevez, who looks like he's been hit over the head with a deadpan, is Jack Colt, a gun-crazy detective who makes his straight new partner, Wes Luger (Samuel L. Jackson), edgy with his risky antics. They are pitted against a gang of psychotic pantywaists headed by General Mortars (William Shatner) and his lisping sidekick (Tim Curry), whom they discover with the aid of Dr. Hannibal Leacher (F. Murray Abraham).

There's a blonde with an ice pick, Destiny Demeanor (Kathy Ireland), who becomes involved with Colt. He brings her in for questioning after cocaine is found in the cookies made by her factory. She asks Colt to caress her as if she were "a Smith & Wesson .747 double-action magnum ... just begging for a few squirts of oil." But Colt, a bisexual who has been romantically linked to Mortars, can't light her fire, only her cigarette.

Quintano, a graduate of "Police Academy 3 and 4," is clearly a case of arrested development. There ought to be a law against making movies if you're a vulgar and sophomoric jerk. Of course, that'd mean there wouldn't be so many movies. Hey, that might not be such a bad thing.

"National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1" is rated R for profanity and adult situations.

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